Permissible Arms

and he even put the budget on iMovie!

Posted in afghanistan, united states, us politics by Karaka on 25 January 2010

::blows dust off blog::

Well, that was a longer absence than I anticipated. I have some crummy health problems that are occasionally more persistent than I would like, and this was one of those instances where I dropped a ball. (The ball being this blog.) Forgive me?

I’m still working on getting caught up on, well, everything (a couple hundred emails! 1500 items in RSS feed! rending of fabric!) but this piece from Slate caught my eye this morning. The iState of the Union: Steve Jobs delivers the annual presidential address.

Now let’s take a look at national security. When we got in here last year, torture was basically OK. We were water-boarding people and doing all sorts of terrible things. If you’re the president of the United States, how do you solve this? Hmm. Oh wait, we have solved this. We banned torture. Boom. Now that’s what I call an amazing breakthrough.

(APPLAUSE. HOOTING.)

OK, I know what you’re thinking: Afghanistan. That war’s not going so well. Kind of a quagmire. So what do you do? You get a better strategy. The 2010 Afghanistan war is newer, better, and cheaper. Want to see what it looks like?

(DELIRIOUS SCREAMS.)

OK, let me call up iMovie. See those drones? They were doing OK, taking out some of the top guys in the Taliban. That just wasn’t good enough. We took them apart, totally redesigned them. They’ve got multi-touch, 3G, and augmented reality terrorist locators. Starting tonight, you can buy them on apple.gov. Just kidding. We wouldn’t do that. But we could do that, if we wanted to. And boom—just like that, we’ve changed warfare. How do you like that, America?

(CHANTS OF “USA! USA!”)

…USA! Man, a corporate takeover never looked so good. (And I don’t think I’ve ever been so eager for a State of the Union address as this one.)

If you folks have some handy links of things I should read that I’ve missed in the last several weeks, I’d appreciate it if you’d drop them in the comments.

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One Response

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  1. onparkstreet said, on 26 January 2010 at 15:52

    Ah, you just do your own thing man, and we’ll keep reading :)

    I’m sort of looking forward to the SOTU, and sort of not. I don’t like set political speeches – from any politician of any party – and I’m afraid it may very well be a train wreck, but you never know! Hope springs eternal!

    – Madhu


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